Day 5

Everybody's favorite day!! What did everybody have for breakfast today? I had 3 wonderful servings of Clomid and a side of bitchiness. I don't notice any changes yet, but in the next couple days I'll become the Incredible Hulk. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for SOMETHING to happen this cycle, I'm not ready to accept the fact that I'm probably going to have to go to an RE. Last night I was checking out at Hy-Vee and this couple walked up behind me. Allow me to set the scene: the couple was delightfully white trash and had 97 white trash children with them as well. They come up and the mom's cussing and swearing at Billy Bob as she throws a pregnancy test on the counter..........................................................................It took all of my power to not say "I hope to God that comes back negative!!"

I'm not as good at hiding my pain anymore. Pregnancy talk puts me in tears, I wish that I could be happy for all my friends that are pregnant....I guess I should say that differently, I AM happy for all my friends that are pregnant-I wish that I could show it more than I do. It takes all of my energy to hold back the tears, I have no more energy for a smile after that.

My sister had her surgery today. It started at 1...haven't gotten any more updates than that. I've been a hot mess today. Between my sister, fertility pills, I bled through a pair of pants this morning, AND my sunglasses broke. I bawled for 20 minutes this morning and I've been close to tears all day. I just want to curl up in bed and stay there all day. Unfortunately, there's no rest for a new Beauti Consultant. I have BeautiU tonight, which I'm super excited about. I've gotten my first orders, after I get done blogging I'll be submitting my very first one. And then tomorrow morning I'm meeting with my director and a few other girls for a "new girl orientation."