Bad news just keeps coming

With yet another failed cycle, I've been a little down in the dumps lately. I've had two spas since the negative pregnancy test and I have had to literally FORCE myself to get out of the house and do them. I'm so happy once I do, but it's been difficult. I had a great spa this morning, I was so excited about it...then Troy and I went to Hu Hot for my birthday lunch. We had just laid down to take a nap this afternoon when I get a text, and then a call from my mom. I'm always afraid it's going to be bad news when she calls, because usually I'm the one calling her...but usually it's just about one of my Facebook games. Today was a different story. My aunt had called my mom and said they found a bunch of tumors and fluid in my grandmother's brain. The doctors are giving her 2-3 weeks to live. I'd like to say I'm ok...but I'm not. My mom and I might go see her next week, but mom's not even sure she could physically make the trip. Now I'm stuck with all these regrets. The only other person we had a "warning" that they were going to pass away was my cousin. I was devestated when she died, but honestly too young to really understand what I was feeling. Now with the news of my grandma all I can think is "I wish I had gone to see her more" or "I wish I had called her when mom told me too." My grandma was the only grandparent I knew until I was about 14, and she had a huge impact on my childhood. We went and stayed with her every summer. I remember playing in the river with her dog, watching Pink Panther over and over with her, fishing with my aunt and uncle. My grandma Allen was such a tough old lady, I thought she'd out live me! The last time I got to see her was at our wedding, almost two years ago, and I am SO happy she was able to come.

 This is a close up of our "3 generations" picture. My grandma's hand is on the left, my moms hand is on the right. I get teary eyed every time I see this picture.

I love you Grandma Allen...I just hope you know that.