Having kind of a lazy day with the puppies today. I do need to clean our grill and then I would like to take Lexi for a walk, we'll see if that happens. A lots been going on lately, I'm really finding it hard to get out of bed some days. My grandma is still not doing well, and now my oldest sister is having health issues. I've been really depressed lately and have been an unbearable bitch at work. I feel a lot of tension between me and Troy lately as well. I'm past the point of knowing what to do and feel completely helpless.
I have 4 Provera left so I'm close to starting a new cycle. I'm not even bothering to get my hopes up on this one, and I've stopped telling everybody whats going on. After the disappointment last cycle, having everybody know (and almost 2 weeks later I'm still having people ask me if I'm pregnant...talk about sticking your finger in the wound), it's just too painful so when someone asks me when my next doctors appointment is, I completely shut down. I know they mean well, but it hurts too much to talk about it. Having them look at me with those sad eyes, wondering when I'm going to crack.
My life right now can't be placed into words...it is chaotic, stressful, emotional, sometimes wonderful...but this is my attempt at describing it.
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