It's been an interesting week, to say the least. I'm amazed I'm still married with as bitchy as I've been. And I've had terrible mood swings too...bitchy, then happy, then crying. Thankfully this is our last round of Clomid. And if we don't get pregnant this month we will wait until after vacation to see the RE. I don't want to curse anything, but I have a bad feeling about this cycle. I haven't had any cramping per say, but my left ovary has been a little tender.
I've noticed the longer we face these fertility problems, the more meticulous I become. I don't want to say I'm completely OCD, I don't think I'm terrible, but it is getting bad. Troy doesn't seem worried about it, but it's something I'm keeping in check. It's so easy for me to get down on myself...it's like nothing is going right for me. I had huge dreams for my BeautiControl, right now I'm doing worse than when I started. We can't get pregnant. If I don't get off the front end soon I'm seriously going to blow.
I think Troy should be declared a saint. He's the one getting the worst part of my craziness. He used to get upset with me, but after so long on Clomid he's finally realized it's not something I can totally control...I try, I really do. Hopefully vacation next month will help me to clear my head.
My life right now can't be placed into words...it is chaotic, stressful, emotional, sometimes wonderful...but this is my attempt at describing it.
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