Starting to have my doubts about this cycle. This is the day I should be ovulating and while I'm more lubricated than normal, I don't have the discharge I'm supposed to. I haven't told Troy my concerns, I don't want him worrying about my sanity...or what's left of it. We've been doing a lot of serious talking though. I think we've decided that if we aren't pregnant this cycle we're going to wait until after our vacation in August to go to the RE. I've been a little down since we talked about it, I'm so torn. It literally KILLS me inside to put it off anymore, but on the other hand it sucks planning a vacation not knowing if you're going to be pregnant or not. Today someone asked me how long we'd been trying, I told them a year, and they said "Oh that's not that long!" It feels like a friggin' decade to me! I wanted to smack them.
I want to spend the next two months losing weight. I need to get back onto my diet. I also need to exercise, which is making me a little down as well. My hips have been bothering me so badly the last month I'm having a hard time even walking. I'm getting a massage tomorrow, hopefully that will help. I have been to my family doctor, my chiropractor, and I've had one massage before...all of it is only a temporary help. I refuse to be fat and in pain all my life!
My life right now can't be placed into words...it is chaotic, stressful, emotional, sometimes wonderful...but this is my attempt at describing it.
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