After the incredible day I had yesterday...today I've been feeling a little down. I think I might be getting another cold and I've felt like crying all day. Troy's out with a friend tonight to celebrate his friends birthday, I opted to stay home and have a night to myself. I just don't have the ambition to go out anymore, I know I should enjoy this time before we do get pregnant and I can't go out for awhile...but I just can't get the motivation to even get out of my sweatpants anymore. And when I do go out, I feel like a total Debbie Downer.
The weather isn't helping my mood any either. It's been so dark and dreary and today the weather really SUCKS! So the dogs and I have decided to have a night in, watching Glee. I'm hoping Troy can have fun tonight, he always feels bad for leaving me at home and part of that is my fault. I don't like to admit it, but I still have a jealous side. Even though Troy has proven to be nothing but faithful and crazy in love with me, I still see flashbacks of the only other two serious relationships I had that ended in betrayal. I try to hide that side of me, but that ugly monster comes out sometimes.
I made my doctors appointments today. I'm a little nervous though, my period seems to be going away now. While I'm not one to complain about a short visit from AF, I would like to think my periods should be more normal while I'm on a pill to induce them. My last Provera pill is tomorrow, hopefully everything works out.
My life right now can't be placed into words...it is chaotic, stressful, emotional, sometimes wonderful...but this is my attempt at describing it.
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